The Secret to Meeting Great Women in Your 30s, Revealed
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Your 30s are certainly not the dating wasteland that popular culture makes them out to be, but dating in your 30s does require some deliberation and effort. For whatever reason, maybe you didn’t spend your 20s submerged in the dating scene – perhaps you were focusing on your career instead, or moving around a lot, or dating simply wasn’t a priority during your wild, youthful partying days.
Now you’ve past the big 3-0 mark, though, and you’ve decided to dip your toe into the dating waters. But it’s so different to how you thought it would be – everything’s online now, you’re confused about whether you should hit on women in public or not, and there are new rules and codes governing every aspect of dating. It’s hard to know where to even start.
Well, don’t worry – we’re here to walk you through how to meet women when you’re in your 30s, and it’s not as hard as you think. Let’s begin:
1. Get Your Friends To Help You
Meeting people through your existing social network is one of the best ways to ensure you meet a partner with similar values to the people you like to spend the most time with. It can sometimes be uncomfortable to admit to your friends that you’re actively seeking a relationship (emotional vulnerability, ughhhhhh), but the people who care about you most will most likely be delighted at the opportunity to set you up on dates with mutual friends and help workshop the best possible dating strategies for you – after all, who knows you better than your closest friends?
Dating friends of friends requires a little extra tact, though: you’re going to need to be very diplomatic when rejecting someone adjacent to your own social circle, for example, and you’ll also need to be careful to avoid the awkward position of having a romantic relationship being constantly mediated by an over-eager friend keen for constant updates on “how it’s all going”. However, it can be a really strong way to meet decent people who are already half-vetted for compatibility, and it’s still the most popular method for meeting romantic partners, so this should be your first port of call.
2. Meet People Through Activities And Hobbies
One of the next best options after meeting prospective partners through friends is to meet them through a shared interest in mutual activities and hobbies. Again, this is a kind of built-in filter mechanism: you already know that the woman who shows up to your soul cycle class every week without fail has an interest in personal improvement and health, for example, or that the new girl at your painting class is creative and alternative – in short, people you meet during your extracurricular activities are just more likely to be Your People.
Be careful about hitting on women in these settings – not everyone will be expecting their gym class to be a singles mingle, so make sure that you approach respectfully and be cool about rejection if she’s not actually looking to date right now. Be up front about your intentions – “I’d love to take you on a date if you’re interested?” is good, clear phrasing – and take it from there. The great thing is, you’ve already got something to talk about if she does let you take her out!
